MEAN GIRLS (AND GUYS) ARE NOT CHIC, HIP, OR COOL
Friday, November 18, 2011 at 8:48AM I woke up this morning to my first morning news story talking about a 10 year old Illinois girl committing suicide due to be bullied at school...this epidemic seems to be growing and growing....it's heartbreaking.
I began reflecting and came to a sad realization. somewhere along the way our society has almost GLAMOURIZED tearing other people down. There are television shows built around it....girls tearing each other apart with their words on America's Next Top Model, "friends" tearing each other apart on Jersey Shore, adult women ripping each other with their words on all the "Real Housewives" series, sisters verbally attacking each other on the Kardashians....are we really surprised about this epidemic? The way these shows are spun they somehow make it look chic or cool, which couldn't be farther from the truth.
Just last week on facebook I saw a girl attacking another girls on facebook, which then led 2-3 other girls to chime in, 33 comments later I was sickened by the nature of their comments, the threats to get in a fight at school, the cussing, all over a guy they both liked. I couldn't believe none of their parents stepped in to correct that using a public forum is wrong, and speaking that way is just not right They thought it made themselves look cool and powerful....it made them look shallow, desperate, mean, and unhappy.
Earlier this month on our Mother facebook page a young woman made a nasty hurtful comment about models and their body types. The comment was insulting, and what unfolded was a few people attacking the entire modeling industry in a mean spirited, jealous manner....and then girls who have modeled or who have a particular body type defending their natural appearance and the ridicule they have receieved. I saved the exchange for my upcoming book. It was such an example of people somehow feeling it's okay to attack other people who happen to be different than themselves.
I heard a quote years ago "Hurting people hurt people" We all need to know people who attack others don't feel good about themselves. Impossible. Our role in life should be to build others up, not down.
Reader Comments (2)
I absolutely agree, Mary. Can I say this, in defense of the parents of some of these children....I have required my 14 year old daughter to "friend" me on Facebook. She did, but I thought it was kind of strange that for as much time as she spends online, I rarely see FB posts. I brought it up to another daughter, and she suggested that my 14 year old may be communicating under an alias.
Now, I am not saying that my daughter is engaging in this, but how would I know? As much as I attempt to steer her in the right direction, there are those outside influences you are talking about.
So, with that being said, I think we should all subscribe to the old adage "It takes a village".
Let's, as parents and adults, help each other. This is where it starts.
Thank you for bringing this horrible reality to our attention.
Mary I don't know how old your children are but mine are 14 (girl) and 12 (son) and both of them are targets from time to time. My daughter is tall and thin and was approached in middle school by others asking her if she is anorexic (sp?) and no she isn't she eats like crazy all the time, it's a family trait my mother was even very thin. My daughter was approached last week by another girl she didn't know in the hall in high school asking again if she suffers from anorexia. I have taught her that some people aren't nice and don't pay attention to them and she also knows that she can freely talk to me about ANYTHING and she does...good or bad. She is also very smart and is called "weird" because she doesn't "act" like other girls her age...she has learned to cope and hang out with others that are similar. My son on the other hand has also been a target because he's nice and not a bully to others so then he is refered to as a whimp/dork/sissy and has also learned that just because someone else tries to label you it doesn't mean that's who you are...it's hard to control and explain sometimes but I use the old "I was in your shoes when I was your age"...I was called chicken legs, burnt Q-tip, string bean. Parents set down and talk to your kids...some are the bullies and some are the victims.